Snow and Rain
by SycoReaperMan
Summary: The Christmas season is a happy time, but sometimes joy and cheer just cant last forever. Garfield Logan realizes, his cloud of happiness, of masking pain, is just a little to high above his head this year, must he suffer forever during these times? BBXRa


_Hey guys I am back. I know it's getting closer and closer to Christmas. So here I give you another short Christmas fic, be warned it is very depressing it isn't the best kind of Romance. It's not like my previous work._

_-Reaper_

**Snow and Rain **

I woke up this morning to a wonderful sight, white on my window ledge. It was colder then any sort of cold this city had seen in a long time. The snow flakes fell in slow uneven patterns littering the ground below and everything that got in its way. My eyes were shocked; it hadn't snowed in Jump in over 15 years, not since that last happy winter. My name is Garfield Logan, also known as Beast Boy, and I am the very last hero this city has.

I turned to grab my coat, for once I could put it to use. It was midnight black with forest green sleeves, almost resembling a varsity jacket. I put my bare hands into the pockets and shivered; my 3 bedroom lonely apartment was more like a cave, Night-wing would love it if he ever came by. I choose a simple pair of jeans to wear over my legs, and the regular green and white sneakers that have almost worn down through the heel and toe areas.

As I head out the door to the world I can hear the other complex residents talking and chatting amongst each other. My ears after all these years hadn't missed a beat, they were as sharp as a new born dog, my eyes were getting a little worse off, but still above human average. My body had become the real changer, over the years of solitude I have grown a few feet and packed on a few pounds with muscle and normal body fat. I was average now, not lanky, not body builder, just average; and that's how I liked it.

"Hey there tiger did you hear the news?"

Bella's voice, damn that woman, rang down the hall to my over sensitive ears. She was my ex lover, ex being the only truthful word in the matter. She was a beautiful girl, tall, blonde, blue eyed, silicon chest, and a tummy tuck stomach flat and fit enough to cut your dinner on. But she was as cold as the snow outside with a tongue with such violence and malice in it, every time I heard her talk it sent bad memories in my mind of the girl with the purple hair.

"What do you want Miss Edwards…" I was surprised to find my voice as cold as hers for once.

The woman seemed to stop dead in her tracks. The sweet fun loving, green boy she had kiss and touched all those nights ago seemed much different now, maybe it was because he wasn't feeling her mouth around his neck or ears, or her hands against his stomach. But he was different now, and she found it hard to not jump on him then and there.

"I uhh… the news said that… an old… hero came back into town today… some dark girl."

My ears twitched, I could feel my hands shaking in the pockets of my jacket. I turned my head to face her and was stunned to see her smiling; she hadn't smiled unless she was next to him.

"Did they say where she was going to be?"

Bella shook her head and I felt a small stone hit my chest, I had to go searching, and I had to see if it was her. If it was the violet beauty that haunted every wet dream in my head, made my legs turn to jelly every time I thought of that kiss, my eyes water when I wake up to find her gone again, then there was only one real place she would go first. I smiled and gave Bella Edwards a caring hug then darted off faster then she realized I had touched her again. As I left the building in a mad hurry I heard people talking behind my back, they kid jog on for all I cared, I finally had a real place to go for once in my 15 years of loneliness. When I turned to a dark alley way I jumped and for the first time in forever I morphed, into a thing forest green hawk and took off into the skies above.

It only took 10 minutes to reach the memorial island, I had been there so many times I should have been a tour guide. When the Titans split up the town took the old Tower and turned it into a museum, and in later years turned the whole island into a memorial to the 5 heroes that once saved the town and the world from total destruction day after day. There statues were at the very front of the island, along side heroes of the neighboring towns and countries that had helped them over the years of protection, including the earth bending girl he tried not to remember anymore. As I reached the island I morphed back to human and landed on the soft dirt with a gentle sigh, it was just like old times to feel the wind flying beneath my wings again, even if it was ice cold and snow flakes kept blocking my vision.

The Titans statue was well polished, even though white caps were now on there heads and shoulders, Robin's mask seemed a little crooked, Starfire's smile wasn't as obvious as it once had been, and I am and always have been sure Cyborg didn't have that tiny patch of hair on his chin. Even though the statue was fading and becoming older and older, I loved it like it was brand new. But what was at the feet of the statue is what hit me the most. My communicator was at the feet of the old Beast Boy, and at the feet of Raven's was here own. She was here, and I had to see her.

"Raven…" I whispered before changing back and going to the next spot I thought she would be.

As I soared high above the skies again, my perfect vision became more and more blurred; the years of singular form had taken its toll on my ability to adapt into my animals. I would have to land and walk the rest of the way in the growing inches of snow.

My feet were frozen solid as I rounded the corner to my destination. As I had been walking I had figured out why it finally decided to snow, she brought it with her, the beauty of my Raven had brought the beauty of winter with it. She always had the cold shoulder and now I realized how true that statement was.

I entered the little coffee shop that had been on the corner of this street for over 20 years. The tingling bell had never faded the pungent smell of mocha and cinnamon for the holidays burned my nostrils but I loved it so much I had to take deeper breathes.

"Hi there, welcome to the Dark Mocha, would you like to try our new holiday coffee selection?" came another familiar voice.

Nancy had worked at the Dark Mocha for years, she never did it while the Titans were together, but ever sense she started I have been coming more and more. She was a cute little 19 year old, cherry colored hair with a lip ring cute enough on her that she had to be born with it. She was always kind hearted, that was why it was easier to rob the place more and more. I had come here and found her crying in the corner several times, we have become friends through it.

"Oh its you green bean, never mind I will get you the usual." She giggled and walked back behind the counter and started making his favorite coffee.

I looked around several times and sighed, she wasn't here. I sat down in the back near the performance stage, the fireplace in the backline of the room was going, and it made me feel so wonderful every time I came in, but today it was especially comfortable. Nancy strolled up and placed a medium sized cup on the counter by my hand.

"Hazelnut and peppermint twist, extra whip cream, non dairy milk." She held up a peace sign to show honesty.

I smiled and kissed her hand teasingly, "Thank you butterfly, now listen here have you seen a violet haired girl come by? She has a red gem in her forehead, pale, probably a little older then me?"

Nancy bit her lip ring and thought before frowning, "Sorry old man… no sign of that beauty around here yet."

I sighed and nodded leaning back in the chair as I took a sip of the coffee I heard the bells jingle again. As soon as the cold winter wind hit me, the scent behind it was unmistakable; it was the scent of incense and lavender, her scent.

As I looked up I saw her for the first time in 15 long, lonely, loveless years. Her shoulder length violet hair hid half of her face like she loved; her full cheeks and beautifully carved frame still the same. Her cold eyes a little softer with age, her outfit was one of all white and purple, she hadn't a speck of black on her now. White shirt, purple jacket, purple and white jogging pants, purple tennis shoes, she was different all right.

'Hi there, welcome to the Dark Mocha, would you like to…"

Nancy's greeting was cut off by the sight of me walking up to her, my Raven, my beautiful perfect Raven. As I stood in front of her, my eyes wide, my jaw slack, my hands opened slightly, I saw into her eyes, eyes of confusion. She didn't remember me.

As the seconds passed by slowly I saw her face change from lost, to overjoyed. She wrapped her arms around me and I spun her around in happiness, I kissed her cheek and forehead lovingly and playfully I was laughing so loud I think I had hurt my own ears.

"Garfield where have you been?" she spoke, he voice was softer now, no need for the monotone.

I looked at her once more and smiled shaking my head in disbelief, "I have been… living here, I never left. Someone needed to protect this city once you guys ran off."

My words seem to cut her more then I thought.

"I didn't run off… I went to train with my mother on Azerath. I have become stronger then I ever hoped to be, I can control my powers without giving up my emotions. I don't think that counts as running off."

I couldn't help but let out a small laugh, all the years and Raven didn't pick up a sense of humor, and it was the only thing that didn't change that I didn't really love in the first place. I just nodded my head and looked down into her eyes, she saw the longing I had in them for her and a frown came to her perfect lips.

"I am sorry Garfield… I have moved on…"

The words hit me with more force then a punch from the deceased Slade.

"Rae… I just woke up one morning and you were gone… I had nothing… now you come back and you talk as if we had an actual break up. Raven I have been miserable without you!"

She kept her eyes low as she turned to leave, my hand reached out in an act of desperation. When it connected with hers I could feel my pain melt away, he tiny fingers lacing with my giant green ones.

"Can you at least… have a drink with me? Can we talk… before you go and leave again?"

The purple haired beauty turned back to face me and nodded, she didn't take her hand away.

For hours we sat, drinking hot coffee, eating a few things that Nancy would bring us. She told me how her life was, about the bad relationship she had just gotten out of with a boy named Damien. I told her about Bella and my years of isolation; how I had morphed for her, something I had vowed to never do again I might add. She laughed, she nodded silently, and even when I told her about the day I woke up to find her gone I think she was crying. The hours ran by so fast, the snow fall continued, it had to be a foot thick outside, the sky was becoming a fade of lavender, just like my beauties hair. When we had finished talking she was in my lap, her head against my chest, her eyes closed.

I looked down at her realizing she had fallen asleep in my arms, we were the only ones left in the shop. Nancy smiled from behind the counter shaking her head as I pulled Raven closer to my body, her fingers curled around my shirt clinging to me. As the fireplace along the back wall began to die down, the cozy feeling dieing away returning to normal, my raven haired goddess turned her head up to look into my eyes. We were stuck there, looking into one another's eyes with lust and passion, love long lost to the world around us.

"Garfield I… I love you…" she whispered very softly, soft enough it was hard for me to hear.

I moved my hand to rest against her pale silk cheek, she moved her face so she could kiss me slowly, her lips and mine interacting with love and compassion. It seemed the kiss lasted longer then our talk, I didn't complain I loved ever second of it. As she pulled away finally, her smiled softened and she got up taking my hand in hers

"Have a good night guys, and Merry Christmas." Nancy called out as we left the door, the bells tingling slightly.

Raven and I laughed as we stood in the foot deep snow looking down at each other, she moved to walk away and I stopped her.

"Where are you going? My apartment is this way." I laughed slightly.

"Garfield… I can't stay… I need to go… back home. I only came to see you."

She seemed to be fighting something, almost like she had something on her tongue that wouldn't leave.

"What do you mean go home? Stay here with me Raven; we can have a happy little life again! Raise some kids, start a family like we always talked about." I must have sounded hysterical.

The violet haired goddess turned to look at me her eyes were teary, something told me I would never see her again. She had her job and I had mine, we were born heroes and she was not going to patrol on my terrain.

"I am sorry Garfield… I love you… but I can't be with you… not anymore. It was just a date that didn't end."

I felt my legs give out as I fell to them on the snow, my face hurt, my hands hurt, my eyes hurt, but the biggest pain was in my chest. Those words hurt so much, so very very much.

"Please don't say that Raven… I love you… I love you so much… I can't be without you…"

Her hand lingered on my cheek before she placed a soft kiss to my forehead, "In time you will understand… goodbye Garfield."

With that she was gone, walking away into the horizon to be what the world needed her to be. The world needed her more she thought, but she will never know how wrong she truly is. My heart was finally crushed as I got up off my knees feeling the snow fall still. My eyes stung with tears. I pushed them away trying not to break down there.

"Good bye Raven… good bye forever."

As I turned my head the Christmas music died away, the holly jolly love and cozy feelings melted faster then ice in an oven. I sighed knowing it was time for me to return to my sanctuary of loneliness and heartbroken days by myself.

As I walked away from my life, a strange feeling started falling down on my head. As I saw the violet haired beauty disappear forever, my life die out, my happiness escape my grasp, I felt the truth.

The snow fall had turned to rain


End file.
